Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Nice weather and a heavy heart

Hello blog world.

It is finally nice outside! And by nice I mean it quit raining, the sun is out and is a cool 70 out!!  I love this time of year!  I would have to say that it is my favorite time of the year.  Fall is bonfires, hoodies, college football, fall classic (MLB Playoffs), cooler weather and of course means Christmas is right around the corner!!!  BTW there are only 98 shopping days till Christmas. 

My heart the past week has been heavy.  Im not sure why?  I have prayed and asked God to speak to me.  Asked why I have a heavy heart, but I'm still waiting for Him answer.  I guess I'm acting different too.  My uncle asked me monday night what was wrong with me?  I questioned him, b/c I did not know what he was referring too.  He said, "you just seem different the past few weeks, your not the same Scott."   It got me to start thinking about some of the things that I was doing that made me "seem different."  I looked back to a year ago, and a lot has changed in my life over the last 12 months.  One year ago this past Sunday, I found out my best friends were moving back to Ohio.  This met that they were going to be leaving the church as well and they were the youth pastors.  That day was of of the hardest days for me.  It was bittersweet.  Sad b/c my best friend was moving, but excited b/c I knew a door of opportunity awaited.  I had just finished my CAMS classes, and had just gotten my Exhorter's License.  I knew my calling was to be a youth pastor and I knew my time was here!  I was changed.  Few other things happened, became single after 3 years, again changed me.   

But if people are noticing something different in me that's not good, why can't I see it?  Is it linked to my heavy heart?  It God trying to say something to me?  Is He trying to speak to me?  I don't here Him.  Am I so "busy" with school and my ministry, friend and family, that  I have somehow missed the voice of God?  

Lord I pray to here your voice!  Make your self so real to me!  I love you more than I have ever!  May your will be done in my life. Amen.

It's Wednesday!!!  Week is half over!



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