It's Time for Change

Well, I guess I'll start this by saying, I'm crushed, let down, dishearten.....

I have a youth group that runs about 30 students. We on average have 15-20. I was really excited about youth service tonight, ended up have 9 people, but there were only 3 students, and the rest were leaders. I called some of them and there excuses were "I'm shopping, or too tired." so now the wheels are turning in my head, and I'm thinking to myself, Is it something I'm doing? Am I the problem? Are they tired of hearing me? The thing is I don't know what to do? I don't have the answers.... It's time for a change, I need a change, want a change, have to have a change.

But how? What do I do?

Lord it's in your hands. Change me, and make me more like you!

Make me desperate for you Lord!

Blessings,

Scott

Relaxing

It's the weekend!!!

Been a light week for me, which is good I needed it! Have not been up before 11 pretty much all week! Weather is nice, and I really can't complain about life. I think I got closer this week on some things! Im just being still and listening to the voice of God!

MLB playoffs start Wednesday!

Blessings,

Scott

"Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly)

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

Blessings,

Scott

Numb

Well, I have felt weird lately. I have felt like I have been Numb to the touch of God. I haven't really felt his presents in my life in a while it seems. I just want to hear His voice. I know he's there, I know He has not left me, I haven't backslid or anything like that...I just haven't "felt" Him.

At prayer tonight....I just lied in the floor and did not say anything, I did not know what to say. I mean it was prayer, why couldn't I just start praying....It's just weird...Is God trying to show me something, or am I just running around so much being "busy" that I have put a wall up between me and God? I know i need to spend more time with Him, and read my Bible more, but I just can't get myself to do it. Why...Im a pastor, it should be easy right? I just want to walk hand and hand with my Lord. I want so much of Him in my life. I guess I will just keep asking Him to soften my heart, break me and mold me into the man He wants me to be.

Week has been kinda crappy...been sick
But this to shall pass.

Blessings,

Scott

God is Good!

What a day yesterday was! I woke up sick as a dog, and missed morning worship. Kinda mad about missing, have not missed morning worship in about 4 years. And of course there was a great move of God as well. I was told in the middle of pastors sermon he felt led to ask who wanted to be baptized, and 25 people raised there hand. So we held a special service at 6pm for water baptism. There ended up being 41 get baptized by the end of the night. Some who didn't even plan on it, myself included.

I was feeling a little better so I decided to go and watch fellow friends and family get baptized. By the time it was over I felt I should get re-baptized since I was younger when I first did it, and don't really remember it. Then my mother, father and sister wanted to be re-baptized. Pastor baptized my mother, and let me baptized my father and sister. It was a really special moment for me, and one that I will never forget!

The day ended up being a great day, and I felt like God just filled up my cup and it has begun to overflow.

Blessings,

Scott

Go Cubs

Cubs Win the 2008 National League Central Division!!!

Sort tonight, not feeling good. : (

Nice weather and a heavy heart

Hello blog world.

It is finally nice outside! And by nice I mean it quit raining, the sun is out and is a cool 70 out!!  I love this time of year!  I would have to say that it is my favorite time of the year.  Fall is bonfires, hoodies, college football, fall classic (MLB Playoffs), cooler weather and of course means Christmas is right around the corner!!!  BTW there are only 98 shopping days till Christmas. 

My heart the past week has been heavy.  Im not sure why?  I have prayed and asked God to speak to me.  Asked why I have a heavy heart, but I'm still waiting for Him answer.  I guess I'm acting different too.  My uncle asked me monday night what was wrong with me?  I questioned him, b/c I did not know what he was referring too.  He said, "you just seem different the past few weeks, your not the same Scott."   It got me to start thinking about some of the things that I was doing that made me "seem different."  I looked back to a year ago, and a lot has changed in my life over the last 12 months.  One year ago this past Sunday, I found out my best friends were moving back to Ohio.  This met that they were going to be leaving the church as well and they were the youth pastors.  That day was of of the hardest days for me.  It was bittersweet.  Sad b/c my best friend was moving, but excited b/c I knew a door of opportunity awaited.  I had just finished my CAMS classes, and had just gotten my Exhorter's License.  I knew my calling was to be a youth pastor and I knew my time was here!  I was changed.  Few other things happened, became single after 3 years, again changed me.   

But if people are noticing something different in me that's not good, why can't I see it?  Is it linked to my heavy heart?  It God trying to say something to me?  Is He trying to speak to me?  I don't here Him.  Am I so "busy" with school and my ministry, friend and family, that  I have somehow missed the voice of God?  

Lord I pray to here your voice!  Make your self so real to me!  I love you more than I have ever!  May your will be done in my life. Amen.

It's Wednesday!!!  Week is half over!

Blessings,

Scott

Ghost of a good thing

Today has been a day.  Had a lunch meeting today with Pastor and Jared.  Then hung out with CJ for a bit!  Love that guy. 

Had a lot on my mind today, and I can't figure out why?  This summer has been up and down.  I broke off an engagement with a girl I had been with for three years.  Youth group has grown and is still growing.  Few other things happened as well.

I thought I had gotten over this, but for some reason today while driving in my truck, all of the feelings and thought's came rushing back, and I started to weep.  I have come to a conclusion that the way I feel will be there no matter what I do.  You can't help the way you feel, or can you?  I have done all I can, tried and tried, and even went out of my way.  I just wish I could move on.  But maybe there's a reason why?

Well need to finish some home work.  Have a good night all who read this.

Blessings,

Scott 

Through the fire

Wow... what and awesome service today!  Pastor preached about being in the fire.  How it's not always the enemy who is putting the fire on us but how sometimes God puts us in the fire to purify us and make us more like him.  He never said that the fire would be easy, but just like Shadrack, Meshack, and Abenago they were in the fire, but there Lord was in it with them. 

Im 23 have raised in church all my life.  But the older I get It seem the less I understand about my Lord. But my love for Him is stronger than it has ever been.  I find myself at a loss for words lately when it comes to describing my Lord and Savior.  It's because words really can't describe Him.  He's to great for words to compare.

Today's been a good day so far! With family now for Tenn. Love seeing family and friends!

Youth service was really good tonight.  I preached about about protection.  How God is there to protect us even when we are going through hell on Earth.  And when it seem like He's going, it's really when He's there for you the most!  He will never leave us or forsake us!

Have a great week!

Blessings,

Scott

Let's give it a try

Well, Im going to try to keep this up to date, I know I have a facebook and a myspace, but this is going to be more personal than the others.  Hopefully you enjoy this and keep up to date with my busy life!

Blessings,

Scott